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Italian Wedding Traditions
28 Apr 2007
Italian Wedding Traditions
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Getting Engaged in Italy
In the past, Italian wedding engagements were usually orchestrated by the families of the bride and groom. Lineage was of the most importance, and if the bride's father had any doubts, negotiations could stop in their tracks. In some cases, a matchmaker sent a message (masciata) to the prospective bride's family of the man's hope to marry. If her family found the groom's proposal acceptable, there would be wedding bells and a marriage.
Diamond engagement rings have been popular with Italian brides since the 1400's. Italians have long held that diamonds are created by the flames of love. In medieval Italy, grooms even paid for their brides with precious stones.
In preparation for her wedding day, the bride assembles a trousseau, consisting of household items, clothing, and sometimes even her future husband's clothes to bring to the home of the groom. Her family provided her with a dowry of money and possibly domestic goods. Today, this custom continues in the form of the bridal shower.
Wedding Day Traditions and Folklore in Italy
Traditions
In Veneto, it is customary for the Italian couple getting married to walk to the wedding chapel together. The townsfolk place obstacles in the bride's path to see how she will react to domestic situations. If she picked up a broom, for example, she will keep a clean house. If they put a child in her way and she stopped to help him, she will be a good mother. In some regions, the bride and groom must cut a log in half before they reach the wedding site, using a double handled saw. This demonstrates their partnership in love and marriage.
Tying a ribbon in front of the wedding chapel to symbolize the bond between the couple getting married is another popular wedding custom in Italy. The actual wedding ceremony (sposalizio) is officiated by a priest or civil authority. Old church tradition warns against marrying during Lent and Advent, and marriage is also avoided in the months of May and August. A lengthy celebration begins with a mass in the morning; and the dancing and feasting that follows may continue well into the wee hours of the morning.
Italian Folklore
To ward off evil spirits, a groom in Italy might carry a piece of iron in his pocket. The bride wears a veil to hide her face from jealous spirits. Tearing the veil is considered good luck.
Sunday marriages are believed to be the luckiest.
It is considered bad luck for a bride to wear any gold, on the day she is married, until wedding rings are exchanged.
Symbolic foods for fertility and for good luck are 'confetti -- candy covered almonds tied in mesh bags to toss at the couple; and twists of fried dough powdered with sugar called wanda (bow ties).
Gourmet Food for Italian Wedding Receptions
For hundreds of years, traditional gourmet Italian food has been served to wedding reception guests. Sweet liquor and strong drinks are served to the guests, by the best man, before the dinner begins. This gives the guests a chance to toast the happy couple with "Per cent'anni" which means, for a hundred years.
The menu at an Italian reception is nearly as important as the wedding itself. Guests may be served as many as 14 different courses with wine and other beverages. After dinner, the customary multi-layered Italian wedding cake is served with espresso and coffee. The sheer volume of food reflects how highly anticipated and festive a typical Italian wedding is.
Wedding Reception Traditions
For the traditional Italian custom of 'buste', the bride will carry a satin bag (la borsa) in which guests place envelopes of money to defer the expenses of customarily lavish Italian weddings. Sometimes the bag is guarded by the bride's grandmother during the festivities or the bride might wear it and allow male guests to put money in it in exchange for a dance with her.
Before the reception is over, the bride and groom usually break a glass. The number of pieces of shattered glass symbolize the years the happy couple will share together. At some weddings, a pair of white doves is released into the air, symbolizing the couple's love and happiness.
Toast to the Newlyweds
One popular custom is a toast, usually made by a male guest after a few glasses of wine. "Evviva gli sposi" - "hurray for the newlyweds." Guests respond with thundering applause. This toast is shouted whenever there is a lull in the wedding celebration, renewing spirits and enthusiasm.
"Kiss for the bride" is another popular Italian toast. It calls for the bride and groom to stand and show their affections for all the guests to see. |
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Throw a Traditional Italian Wedding
Despite what you might think, you don't have to be a sun-kissed couple fresh from the shores of Sicily in order to have an Italian wedding. A couple of Italian descent are more than welcome to weave Italian traditions into their wedding -- whether or not they've ever set foot in Italy.
Many of us find that the most satisfying weddings combine nostalgic old traditions with contemporary ways of doing things. And old religious observances, historic dances, and traditional Italian foods are sure to give your wedding a warm Italian heart.
As everyone knows, Roman Catholicism is Italy's primary religion. So a traditional Italian wedding typically means a traditional Catholic wedding as well, including a full mass with the ceremony. However, it's still true that not every Italian is Catholic. Although it may be a bit unusual, if you and your partner aren't Catholic, you can still incorporate the Italian traditions in your reception. One of the most charming is the dove release, symbolizing the love and affection of each newlywed for the other, although this tradition is not very old.
No Italian wedding is complete without a few traditional dances, such as the Tarantella. Although the Tarantella's origin is somewhat murky, most of the stories about it involve a spider bite, and tell of a dance either meant to counteract the venom, or one that simply mimics the uncontrolled motions of the sufferer. At any rate, these days the Tarantella is performed at wedding parties to wish the couple a fine future together. Participants form a circle and dance in a clockwise direction, until the music speeds up and the dancers must change direction. The tempo changes several times, each time forcing the dancers to change direction and dance even faster. The Tarantella continues until it becomes impossible to keep up, and the dance falls apart.
What's the most distinguishing aspect of an Italian wedding? The food, of course. The Italians invented the evocative word abbondanza, which somehow means something more than mere "abundance," and no Italian wedding would be complete without an overwhelming feast of many courses. Traditionally, the wedding reception begins with an antipasto course of cheeses, olives, mushrooms, and pickled sweet peppers. This course is followed by subsequent courses starring pastas, meats, salads, soups, and desserts, each one punctuated by freely flowing wine.
It's interesting to note that some of the foods at an Italian wedding have symbolic overtones. For example, the giving of sugar-coated almonds to guests symbolizes that marriage is both bitter and sweet. The number of almonds given is associated with traditional meanings: for example, three almonds speak to fertility, while five almonds wish for wealth.
Another authentic Italian wedding tradition is the breaking of a glass at the reception's end, somewhat like a similar tradition within the Jewish faith. However, the deeper symbolism underlying these traditions is very different. Within Judaism, the broken glass symbolizes human frailty and the hardship the couple's ancestors endured as a result of their faith. But in Italian weddings, the broken glass points toward the future. The number of shards is said to predict the number of happy years the couple will have together.
It's deeply satisfying for couples of Italian descent to weave these traditional elements into their modern-day wedding. Even if only your distant relatives still reside on Italian soil and you've never been to Italy, it's still absolutely fine to follow these traditions. And that's not to say you have to be Italian, either -- all that's required is that you appreciate the richness of Italian culture and are willing to try something new.
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