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You are Cordially Invited to an Italian Wedding- Eat, Drink and Be Merry!
23 Jul 2006
Ever wonder where some of the Italian wedding traditions came from? How about some of the old traditions that remain in place at today's celebrations? Read on to find out ...
According to Italian tradition, when a man wanted to ask for a woman’s hand in marriage either himself (or in some cases, his brother or another male relative) went to speak to the woman’s father. Once the father said yes and both families were fine with the arrangement, presents were then exchanged. It was customary for the prospective groom (the pretendente) to place a diamond ring on his bride-to-be’s finger before the engagement was announced.
Hope Chest for the Bride-To-Be
In readying herself for the upcoming nuptials, the bride-to-be collected a trousseau (or hope chest) of household items, clothing and sometimes even a few pieces of clothing belonging to her future husband. During the many wars fought in Italy, items in hope chests had to be carefully packed and then put away in excellent hiding places because it was feared that the soldiers from the invading army would find their way into homes and steal everything inside. Besides the hope chest, her family often gifted her with a dowry of monetary value and in some cases, domestic goods such as dishes and silverware.
Wedding Ceremonies in Churches
Italian weddings were always held in churches (sposarsi in chiesa) and certain traditions and folklore had to be abided by. Marriage during the season of Lent was not allowed, as was marriage during Advent. No wedding ceremonies were held in May because that month was set aside for the worship of the Virgin Mary. As well, marrying in the month of August was believed to invite bad luck and sickness. There was a practical reason for this also- many Italian citizens took their vacations in August and it was thought that there would be low attendance at weddings. All other months of the year were allowed for weddings. Most weddings were held on Sunday as it was considered the “luckiest day” for the bond of matrimony.
The Italian Wedding Day
On the day of a traditional Catholic wedding, a large bowed ribbon was draped across the top of the doorway of the church indicating to everyone who passed by that a marriage was about to take place inside. In days past an Italian bride did not wear a white dress but instead a dress in the color green (which symbolized fertility). Today most Italian women do opt for the color white to wear on their special day.
On his wedding day a groom carried a piece of iron in his pocket, which was supposed to “ward off the evil eye” for fear that envy, and jealous feelings might destroy his happiness. Tearing a bride’s wedding veil was believed to be a sign of good luck. At the conclusion of many Italian weddings the newlyweds shattered a wine glass or vase. Afterwards the broken pieces were counted. This represented the anticipated number of years the couple was expected to be happily married.
Must for Guests
It is a must for guests to throw paper confetti or rice at the newlyweds as they exit the church. In Italy confetti represents good fortune and money. For that reason, the more that is thrown, the better it is for the couple. It is very common for a pair of doves to be released into the air after a wedding, symbolizing love and happiness. Nuts and grain are often thrown as are candy-covered almonds tied in mesh bags. This tradition is supposed to encourage conception.
Entertainment
What would an Italian wedding be without food and fun? Italian wedding receptions today are lavish, full of energy and place a tremendous emphasis on food and drink. To kick off a wedding reception, the bridal party is kept apart from the rest of the guests for approximately an hour and served cocktails during this time. After cocktail hour is over, guests gather in the main dining area while the bridal party enters the room. A pathway is formed by the guests in order fore the bride and groom to walk through, but not before being acknowledged as a newlywed couple.
Energy is already buzzing around the room as the couple dances their first dance, followed by the members of the bridal party and finally, the guests. Italian weddings are very well choreographed indeed.
After a few dances, everyone takes their seats and then speeches (given by family and friends) begin. The new couple is treated to more than their fair share of champagne toasts throughout the speeches. And there is plenty of food and drink to come for the celebration. Important to note is that before any food is served, women are treated to sweet liquors and men to stronger drinks.
Main Course
Generally the first thing served is antipasto and it includes such delicacies as stuffed mushrooms, olives, salami, pickled peppers, calamari and mortadella. Italian receptions include many different courses, sometimes as many as twelve to fourteen. There are sufficient amounts of pasta, salads, soups, meats and fruits for everyone. No one goes home hungry after an Italian wedding reception; in fact it’s generally the other way around- most people feel as if they might burst upon leaving. Wine is available at dinner and so are a variety of other beverages. Symbolic foods that are a part of every Italian wedding celebration because they bring good tidings include twists of fried dough, powdered with sugar called bow ties (also known as wanda) and Italian wedding candy.
Dessert Course
The dessert course includes an array of decadent delights such as pastries, cakes, fruits and as much coffee as a person can drink. Of course there is also wedding cake to enjoy. A Viennese Table is often presented in Sicilian customs to usher in the dessert course, filled with mouth-watering treats. There is a special name for this- Vienna Hour.
Interesting to note about the wedding cake is that in some areas of Italy, no cake is served. Instead, at each place setting guests are treated to decorative boxes or tulle bags filled with sugared almonds. This is thought to adequately portray the wedding or what is also known as the “union of bitter and sweet.”
Spoken at every wedding after many glasses of wine are the words- “Evviva gli sposi”, which translated to English means “hurray for the newlyweds.” The words always bring about applause, enthusiasm and much excitement and can be heard uttered many times throughout the wedding reception.
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Throw a Traditional Italian Wedding
Despite what you might think, you don't have to be a sun-kissed couple fresh from the shores of Sicily in order to have an Italian wedding. A couple of Italian descent are more than welcome to weave Italian traditions into their wedding -- whether or not they've ever set foot in Italy.
Many of us find that the most satisfying weddings combine nostalgic old traditions with contemporary ways of doing things. And old religious observances, historic dances, and traditional Italian foods are sure to give your wedding a warm Italian heart.
As everyone knows, Roman Catholicism is Italy's primary religion. So a traditional Italian wedding typically means a traditional Catholic wedding as well, including a full mass with the ceremony. However, it's still true that not every Italian is Catholic. Although it may be a bit unusual, if you and your partner aren't Catholic, you can still incorporate the Italian traditions in your reception. One of the most charming is the dove release, symbolizing the love and affection of each newlywed for the other, although this tradition is not very old.
No Italian wedding is complete without a few traditional dances, such as the Tarantella. Although the Tarantella's origin is somewhat murky, most of the stories about it involve a spider bite, and tell of a dance either meant to counteract the venom, or one that simply mimics the uncontrolled motions of the sufferer. At any rate, these days the Tarantella is performed at wedding parties to wish the couple a fine future together. Participants form a circle and dance in a clockwise direction, until the music speeds up and the dancers must change direction. The tempo changes several times, each time forcing the dancers to change direction and dance even faster. The Tarantella continues until it becomes impossible to keep up, and the dance falls apart.
What's the most distinguishing aspect of an Italian wedding? The food, of course. The Italians invented the evocative word abbondanza, which somehow means something more than mere "abundance," and no Italian wedding would be complete without an overwhelming feast of many courses. Traditionally, the wedding reception begins with an antipasto course of cheeses, olives, mushrooms, and pickled sweet peppers. This course is followed by subsequent courses starring pastas, meats, salads, soups, and desserts, each one punctuated by freely flowing wine.
It's interesting to note that some of the foods at an Italian wedding have symbolic overtones. For example, the giving of sugar-coated almonds to guests symbolizes that marriage is both bitter and sweet. The number of almonds given is associated with traditional meanings: for example, three almonds speak to fertility, while five almonds wish for wealth.
Another authentic Italian wedding tradition is the breaking of a glass at the reception's end, somewhat like a similar tradition within the Jewish faith. However, the deeper symbolism underlying these traditions is very different. Within Judaism, the broken glass symbolizes human frailty and the hardship the couple's ancestors endured as a result of their faith. But in Italian weddings, the broken glass points toward the future. The number of shards is said to predict the number of happy years the couple will have together.
It's deeply satisfying for couples of Italian descent to weave these traditional elements into their modern-day wedding. Even if only your distant relatives still reside on Italian soil and you've never been to Italy, it's still absolutely fine to follow these traditions. And that's not to say you have to be Italian, either -- all that's required is that you appreciate the richness of Italian culture and are willing to try something new.
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